


Your Name Over My Name

by Isabelu_u



Series: Edgeless Melody [11]
Category: Thunderbolt Fantasy 東離劍遊紀 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dreams vs. Reality, Dreamsharing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Lang is precious, M/M, Nostalgia, Read at Your Own Risk, Shang left again, They're cute, Visions in dreams, he's a dumbass, this made me too emotional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24159001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabelu_u/pseuds/Isabelu_u
Summary: In the dark there's sounds, a welcoming dizziness, a white  spiral tunnel taking him down, moving him through time and space to the next image of him, as if his soul was bound to wander in search of them.
Relationships: Rou Fu You | Làng Wū Yáo/Sho Fu Kan | Shāng Bù Huàn
Series: Edgeless Melody [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1209291
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10





	Your Name Over My Name

**Author's Note:**

  * For [colorfulcharades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorfulcharades/gifts).



It was an old train station, he was standing by the door outside, had some luggage by his side, his smile was so wide. He waved his hand at him and he saw his lips forming that word... But couldn't hear it... He wondered if maybe he forgot it... 

The way his name sounded on his lips. 

He opens his eyes and that pain spreads through the chest. 

It was a dream, again, it was just a dream. 

He showers, eats, and runs to work carrying that hollow feeling once again. Seeing him like this every night is like torture, his image gets blurry every time, his voice is always missing. Seeing him fading like that from his mind with each morning hurts so much. 

But it's what he deserves. 

He sits in his office desk ready to work his mind away from it all once again, but he can't help hearing two women in a small coffee break a few feet away from him. 

_"They say that if you dream him then he's missing you, you know?"_

_"What do you mean? That's so childish!!"_

_"Ahhh you're blushiing!! He really misses you then!"_

_"Shut up!"_

_"You're so cute!"_

Their soft laughs left as they moved back to their desks but Shang's chest was hurting again even harder. 

He breathed in a few times, trying to focus, to control himself, yet he ended up hiding his despaired face with his hands. 

The idea keeps rippling across his mind and it reaches a soft wound, makes it bleed again. All this time he thought this was just his curse, but now there's a new cold fear spreading through him. 

_I... I wish he forgot..._

All this time, the only thing that helped him get up was that certainty 

_He doesn't remember anymore... I hope..._

He felt his eyes heavy with tears, his throat holding a knot of unspoken words and screams, Yet they don’t belong here. Around him there’s only the sanitized cordiality of daily work life, he can’t fail it, he can’t allow himself to break right now. 

He quietly squeezed his face with his hands all he could, until he felt emotions hiding inside once again. He finished work at night, and walked home biting his lip until it almost bled. 

Once he closed his door behind him he felt a tear falling down his cheek, the rest remained hidden inside. He took a bottle of wine and sat on the windowsill trying to look at anything, think of anything to stop that storm bursting inside himself. He had to come here, he had to leave, he chose this thinking it couldnt hurt him, what exactly could he miss?, what future could he have given him?, it had been so clear, that he was making him a favour... It would be his sacrifice for the sake of his happiness...and yet... 

What if his heart was bleeding tonight too? 

He picks up his phone and winces at the bright screen in his dark apartment, stares at an old number on his contact list. It's so far away, he can feel tears falling just thinking in how far away he is. 

He bites his lips again. 

He throws himself on his mattress drinking what's left of the bottle. He waits for it to take the thoughts away, yet he can already feel his lips drifting while tasting that word. 

\------------ 

In the dark there's sounds, a welcoming dizziness, a white spiral tunnel taking him down, moving him through time and space to the next image of him, as if his soul was bound to wander in search of them. 

As he was feeling that fog setting in, he felt soft lips on his, real, warm, the shape and texture he focused in remembering since the last time. He opens his eyes again, and this time there's a figure above him, hovering over him, long firey hair falling by his side. The first rays of dawn paint the red lips and emerald eyes, the sweet smirk only for him. 

Shang opens his eyes wide and fails to catch the tears this time 

_"Ho-how? How did? How... Did you find me?"_

He wants to sit up but feels his delicate hand pushing him back on the bed. 

_"I searched"_ He whispers, and let's his hand go up to caress his cheek. 

_"Dreams... They are windows... If you wish them to be"_

Shang sighs deeply at the touch, leans softly, devotedly, into it. He let's his hands grab his arms, they're just like back then, it feels just as firm, as warm. He wants to cling so much. 

_"I... I thought..."_ he doubts, but he wants to explain 

_"You thought I had forgotten"_ his soft smile speaks 

_"Yes... I... I'm sorry... I thought..."_ he can't explain while crying 

_"I can’t... I'll never forget... You name and my name are one..."_ his voice feels like a caress as he leans closer 

And Shang's grip on his arms gets stronger, he's been waiting for so long, wishing for so long to hear it. 

His name on those lips again 

And the warm smile opens... But there's no sound. 

Shang thinks he might have missed it 

_"wh-what?..."_

And the figure starts breaking above him, the eyes aren't there anymore, the arms disappeared from his hands, he can feel the world twisting as the image leaves no trail behind. 

Another ghost. 

\------------ 

Sun burns his eyelids when he wakes up. It's so late but he doesn't care at all. Of all dreams that was the cruelest. He couldn't go to work even if he wanted to. 

He sits on the bed hoping he wouldn't have to do this anymore... Anything at all... He wishes at least the wine could have mercy on his head. 

His phone rings from below the bed, the sound is opening up cracks on his skull he can feel it. He picks it up ready to throw it through the window when he sees the old number on the screen. 

Calling. 

He picks up before he can even think 

There's silence 

He remembers he's supposed to speak first 

_"Lang... why... You..."_ He wonders if the phone in his hands could suddenly fade too. 

_"I...I've been... Searching for you..."_ The shivering voice seemed to reach right through the heart. 

He grabs the sheets as the sweet voice speaks, as he breathes in to say it. 

_"Shang"_

**Author's Note:**

> I'M STILL ALIVE EVERYONEEE!
> 
> Quarantine is a bitch and my classes keep piling up so what better moment to write huh?? I'm that smart!! I'm sorry for taking so long I've had so many breakdowns over another, longer work I was supposed to be finishing but in the end I wrote this smol fic thanks to an Spinetta song in spanish called "Tu nombre sobre mi nombre" (your name over my name) It's gorgeous go check it out if you want! It gave me all the shanglang feels I just had to write something!! 
> 
> Thank you for giving you time to my fic, if you like it consider leaving a comment it always makes me happy to read them. I've been a bit insecure about a lot of things lately and it's always nice to know I made someone happy!!
> 
> I apologize if there are mistakes, english isn't my first language i'll keep trying my best!
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING! I PROMISE THE NEXT ONE WILL BE BETTER!


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